Dissimulation
by haunted lullaby
Summary: After Tidus's disappearance, Yuna finds out that Tidus was able to leave a mark within her. Little does she know, there is a secret that has been kept hidden about the man that she loves and when he suddenly reappears, the mystery begins to uncloud.
1. Quietus

**Dissimulation**

**Chapter 1: **Quietus

_The culprit, you act before thinking  
Caught in your ignorant sin  
And lying to your own reflection  
You thought you could hide  
-Quietus by Epica_

qui·e·tus  
1.a finishing stroke; anything that effectually ends or settles: Having given a quietus to the argument, she left.  
2.discharge or release from life.  
3.a period of retirement or inactivity.

**Summary: **Tidus's existance may have disappeared, but his mark in the world of Spira has not. He disappeared without knowing a secret that Yuna had been hiding from him. Yuna must cope with his disappearance and the beginning of a new life. It might have been easy at first, but that was before Tidus's dark past was unveiled. Rated M for later chapters.

His glowing body became one with the clouds. It was painful to watch and she felt as if she was going to just die right there. He never knew. He never knew the secret that she had been hiding from him. She wanted to tell him and she would have after the defeat of Sin, but she never imagined that he would be gone. He was gone, because of her. She finally let go and let the tears pour out. Her guardians rushed to her side, trying to give her as much need support.

She appreciated their worry and comforting suggestions, but nothing could change the fact that she was alone. She just watched the man that she loved and cherished jump off the edge of an airship. He was gone and it was her fault. How could she go on like this? In her eyes she was a murderer. This was all too much to handle.

No matter how strong she was, she had carried a lot of emotional baggage throughout her own pilgrimage. Leaving the people she loved back in Besaid. The horror of Operation Mi'ihen. The wedding and death of her husband. Everything had caused her complete distress, but she remained strong. The only time she had ever cried was in front of him.

She had asked him to join her back in Kilika, because of his nature. He was one of the only ones that truly made her laugh. During this time, he was innocent and unaware of what her pilgrimage would bring. Lulu warned for these reasons, but she still wanted him nearby. This was the start of a love that would grow each day. Although the journey was difficult, he never failed to make her smile.

Now that aspect was gone. Instead of absolute bliss and happiness because peace has finally enveloped the land, the world seemed gloomly. Once they landed, she would be surrounded by smiling faces. There would always be one missing from the crowd. The one smile and the one laugh that had the greatest impact of all.

She rubbed her eyes and felt hot bile begin to rise in her throat. She was able to swallow it down and turned to face her guardians. Everybody stared at her with worried looks. The pilgrimage was finally over and she looked like a completely new person. The journey definitely took a toll on her. Her eyes were red and puffy and crying, but nothing covered the large bags underneath her eyes. She looked much older now.

She ignored their glares and began her way to the safety inside. The guardians followed her, silence enveloping all of them. They didn't know what else to say. The events that just had taken place were confusing to all, but Rikku and Kimahri. These two were the only ones who knew their secret relationship. Rikku, however, was the only one who knew about their sinful act.

Yuna's heavy feet guided her to the bridge, where she was greeted by her uncles arms. Yuna fell into them silently, enjoying the little warmth they gave. "You did it! You got rid of Sin!" his muffled voice said excitedly. He finally let go and inspected the crew. He immediately noticed that two were missing. "What happened to the antisocial guy and captain puberty?" The group remained silent, all their eyes pointing to the ground. They couldn't get themselves to say it. It was still a shock to all, especially to Yuna.

They all knew that he was going to disappear, but Yuna refused to accept it. Even when he began to fade away, she refused to believe that he was going to leave her. The event immediately began to replay in her mind. Tears began to fall again and she cursed herself for displaying emotion. All her life she had been taught to never show your emotions. Never let somebody see you cry. This was a sign of weakness and struggle. Yuna could not help herself, however.

Cid glanced at Yuna, noticing the tears running down her face. In horror, he tip toed over to Rikku. Rikku too, was crying. "What's going on with you and her?" Cid whispered. He knew this probably wasn't the time to be asking such questions, but he always had a strong sense of curiosity. It always got the best of him.

Rikku rolled her eyes, but kept her mouth shut. Her throat was dry and she was unable to talk. All she could think of was about her cousin. She was extremely worried about the little sanity Yuna had left. She had been through a lot and Rikku was afraid Yuna was finally on the verge of cracking. She didn't want to see that.

An eery silence fell between the group as everybody became lost in thought. There were no plans on the next action, instead, everybody was reflecting the events that just happened.

Yuna was finally the first to break the silence. "Take me home," she said shakily.

Cid nodded and began to bark orders to Brother. Lulu gathered enough courage to speak to her adoptive daughter. "Yuna, are you okay?" she asked worriedly. "I know this a shock to you and I was unaware of your hidden relationship, but I know what it is like to lose the man you love."

Yuna silently stared out the window, watching the yellow couds speed by her. She was in no mood to talk. All she wanted was to finally lay in a soft bed and just cry. She needed to let all her hidden sorrow out. Most importantly, she needed to think.

In a matter of months, weeks even, the world will soon find out about her hidden, sinful act. She didn't see it as sinful, but the world would. Even if the religion of Yevon has crumbled to ashes, people were still going to follow Yevon's strict code for years to come. Yuna didn't care though. She had thrown all her ties to Yevon away after uncovering the corruption inside of Bevelle. The thought that Yevon was still based on death sickened her.

"Yuna, we're nearing Besaid. We should be there in ten minutes," Cid said suddenly, tearing Yuna away from her troubled thoughts.

"Thank you," Yuna replied numbly. She folded her hands against her chest and stared down at the carpeted floor, mezmorized by the intricate patterns.

Time passed slowly, but finally, she began to feel the long descent towards the island. Pretty soon she will be surrounded by happy, excited faces. In normal occasions, she would be delighted, but right now, she was dreading it. "When we land in Besaid, I don't want to talk to anybody. I just want to go to bed and be alone. I have a lot on my mind and I need time to think. If people approach me, Kimahri, will you lead them away?" Yuna announced.

"Kimahri knows Yuna is sad. Kimahri will protect Yuna," Kimahri's booming, accented voice told her.

"Thank you. Now that we have that settled, lets get going," Yuna sighed. She took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves, before heading towards the exit. Yuna and her guardians began their long descent to find the shores of Besaid crowded with onlookers. They all looked scared at the sight of the airship, but they all wore smiles. Yuna shielded her eyes. She couldn't see them smile. Lulu and Wakka took the front, Yuna and Rikku took the middle, and Kimahri took the back. They were all ready to push the onlookers away.

As soon as they reached the shore, the crowds began to push towards their hero, but her faithful guardians kept them away. "Yuna has had a long, hard journey. She needs rest," Lulu kept repeating.

Yuna kept her weary, watery eyes to the ground. She didn't want them to see her like this. This was a time that was supposed to be of complete bliss and happiness. However, for Yuna, it was a time for mourning.

The crowds did notice that there were two of her guardians were missing. They did notice that Yuna was not in all of the best of moods, so they understood. Once they were pushed away, they did not try and fight back. Instead, they accepted and just stood back and watched. For this, Yuna was grateful.

The trip back to Besaid was long and silent. The only sounds were the birds in the jungles and the whispered excited voices of the following crowd behind them. They encountered many fiends, but the fiends were no longer a problem to the guardians. They didn't even need Yuna's help at all. Instead, she numbly followed their footsteps.

When they finally reached the village, Yuna departed from the group and went to the old crusader tent. She was finally alone, with Kimahri silently guarding the entrance of the tent. If anybody dared try to enter, Kimahri simply pushed them away. Yuna sighed and took the bed farthest away and fell onto it. The tears that have been begging to escape for the past year were finally drained. She buried her face into pillow and just cried.

She cried for the deaths from Sin in Kilika. She cried for the deaths from Operation Mi'ihen. She cried for her broken marriage to Seymour. But most of all, she cried for Tidus. Her body ached for his warmth. She wanted to laugh and smile again, but now it seemed impossible. Without him, the world seemed dark and gloomy. Spira has had a lot of emotional baggage the last few years and there was still a lot of work to be done. The scent of death was still thick in the air.

**Outside** of Yuna's world, Lulu, Wakka, and Rikku all gathered in Wakka's tent. They were sitting around a table, contemplating on their next step. Things were going to be rough for Yuna. The loss of Tidus deeply pained her and the rest of the group as well. There was never a dull moment when Tidus around. He kept their spirits high and their wills strong. Now, the world seemed so empty.

"I'm going to miss him," Rikku sighed. Her fingers were tenderly tracing the grain on the wood table, her eyes lowered to her lap.

"I know, but I'm worried about Yuna. She's never been like this. Even when her father died, she was able to keep her spirits high," Lulu whispered. Her eyes began to water as she allowed her tears to fall.

Wakka reached for Lulu's hand and squeezed it lightly, "Yuna will get through with this, ya! She may seem fragile and frail, but her will is strong. All she need is time alone. She'll be able to sort out her problems and she'll back to her old self before we know it. She's that kind of person." Lulu nodded, but she still wasn't convinced. Losing a loved one was the hardest thing to go through. It nearly destroyed Lulu and at times, may destroy even the strongest person. There was obviously a deep connection between Yuna and Tidus. She hoped, though, that they didn't go too deep into that relationship.

"They loved each other very much. I don't think it's going to be that easy," Rikku whispered. Her mind was on the time that Yuna had told her what Tidus and her had done...

_It was the night before Yuna would acquire the final summoning. Tidus had left the group, but before he did, he had left a reasurring hand on Yuna's shoulder. Rikku always suspected that there was some sort of thing going on between the two. This action had only strengthened her curiosity. She watched Tidus stand at the cliffs edge, staring at the ruined city. Yuna got up and announced that she needed some time alone, before heading away. The others were deep in conversation. They were talking about their plans after the final step was taken. They were in the conversation so deep, that they didn't even notice Rikku slip away and follow Yuna's path. She found Yuna resting on a boulder. She was busy tracing something in the gritty sand that enveloped the rock. "So, what's going on between you and him?" Rikku approached her._

_Yuna shot up, scared by the sudden intrusion. She didn't even notice Rikku sneak up beside her. "What, what do you mean?" Yuna asked, dumbfounded. _

_"Oh, c'mon Yuna! I'm not stupid, you know! There is obviously something going on between you two," Rikku teased. Yuna's eyes dropped to her lap and she bit her lip. Was it that obvious? It was strange that nobody else had noticed it._

_"Is it really that obvious?" Yuna shuttered._

_"The others haven't noticed, but I have," Rikku said, while puffing out her chest. Yuna laughed at her actions. Rikku was another one that never failed to get her to smile, but her affect wasn't as great as Tidus's._

_"Well, I guess I shouldn't lie. We're in love," Yuna sighed._

_"Have you two been smooching?" Rikku asked. Her interests sparked to high levels. She felt a little pain of jealousy, though. Rikku would admit, she also had a slight crush on the blonde blitz player. Rikku did save him from freezing and starving to death, but she always knew his heart was towards her cousin. Tidus would always complain to her about how much he liked Yuna._

_"We've done a little more that," Yuna thought, out loud._

_"What?" Rikku asked, bewildered._

_"Huh? Did I say that out loud?" Yuna asked with absolute horror. She was embarassed about that sinful act she had done with Tidus, but her body needed it so bad. She wanted to know what love felt like and most of all, she didn't want to die not ever experiencing it._

_"Did you two, **do it**?" Rikku chuckled._

_"We didn't do it, we made love. There's a difference you know!" Yuna said defensively. Doing it seemed impersonal and sinful to Yuna. Making love had a different vibe, though. It made the act seem less sinful and more beautiful._

_"Wow! How did it feel? Lucky!" Rikku started to ramble incoherant words. At times, she would slip into Al Bhed, before slipping back into Spiran. Yuna, only half listening, began to trace designs into the dirt again, a smile at her lips. Her mind was obviously on that special moment she had shared with Tidus. "When? Where?" Rikku finally asked, breathlessly._

_"Remember when the two of us disappeared in the Calm Lands? We found a little cave and shared our moment there," Yuna explained. Rikku squealed and hugged her cousin. "You're not ashamed of me, are you?" Yuna continued, worried._

_"Ashamed? Why should I be ashamed! I'm surprised, but it's a good surprise!" Rikku squealed._

_"Well, promise me you won't tell anyone," Yuna whispered._

_"I promised," Rikku assured her._

**"Rikku? **are you even listening?" Lulu scolded.

"Uh, what?" Rikku asked stupidly. Lulu sighed with frustration and rubbed her pounding headache. She hated it when people daydreamed at times like this. It was no time to daydream. They needed to make some important decisions and daydreaming was not helping.

Instead of blowing up, though, Lulu took a few deep breaths before replying, "Nothing. I think I'll go check up on Yuna." She stood up and left the tent and made the short walk to the tent. Kimahri let her pass with ease and she headed to where Yuna was. To her relief, Yuna was sleeping peacefully. Lulu took a seat at the edge of the bed and ran her fingers through her soft hair. "Things will get better, I promise." She stood up, pulled a blanket over Yuna's sleeping form, and softly placed a kiss on Yuna's salty cheek. She softly wiped away the evidence of tears.

**A/N: **A new story that I have thought up. I have had this idea for a long time and I finally decided to sit down and write it. This chapter is boring, I know, but it will get better. Beware, there will be some sexual content, violence, and cursing in later chapters. That's why I decided to mark this story as Mature. I'm very excited about this and I feel this has to be the best chapter I ever wrote. The italics will signify dreams and flashbacks, by the way. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think!


	2. Silent Madness

**Dissimulation**

**Chapter Two: **Silent Madness

_A silent madness grabs me  
When I fall in love with shades  
Hoping they will dispose me  
But they guide me through my Hades  
**-**Silent Madness by Autumn_

Deep inside the darkness a young child begins to take shape. It is six weeks into its new life and already, the child has grown. The beginnings of a mouth are visible, along with eyes and ears. The chest and stomach begin to take shape and a primitive, tube shaped heart pulsates within. The brain also begins to show some activity. However, the infant still does not look human. It is small and curved. A short tail curls around and ends at the umbilical cord. It seems more like a reptile, rather than a human child.

Little did this child know that its existence was still unknown. Only the mother knew that it existed. Little did the unborn child know that it would soon be born fatherless and in sinful nature. Little did this child know that once it was born, it would be unaccepted by its peers. It would always be a child of sin.

Yuna's eyes fluttered opened and she found herself back in the tent at Besaid. Soft snoring reverberated against the canvas walls and Yuna found that she was not alone. She sighed and sat up to take a look around. Every last bed was occupied by some sort of sleeping form. Rikku was sleeping the bed next to her. Kimahri's large, sleeping form was situated in the bed across from hers. Yuna quietly got up and left the tent.

She silently stepped into the moonlight, embracing its eerie glow. The surrounding atmosphere looked exactly how Yuna felt. The surrounding area was mostly darkness from the black of the night, but the full moon allowed scattered pools to illuminate those particular areas. Darkness had engulfed Yuna, except for the happy memories she had of him. That was all she had left of him, except for the sin that was growing inside of her.

Yuna looked down at her stomach, fear pulsating in her veins. Soon, she would begin to show and it would become impossible for her to hide her reckless sin. She didn't see it as sinful, but as an act of love. She knew, however, that the others were not going to see it that way. Tears slid down Yuna's cheeks at the thought. She wished he was here right now, so she could prove her love to him. However, she was alone.

Yuna turned and walked towards the temple. She never realized how much she hated the temple now. Not only did it represent a corrupted religion, its origins were also responsible for taking the man she loved away. She climbed up the stone steps and numbly entered the temple.

It was dark and quiet inside. No longer did the Hymn of the Fayth echo through the halls. The life had been sucked entirely away as soon as the fayth had turned into stone. Yuna felt her feet take her up to the steps towards the cluster of trials. These trials were the first one she had encountered and conquered. The memory of this event was still vivid in her mind. She remembered how proud she was.

However, as she entered the trials, it was empty. The energy that once hummed in the walls had evaporated and nothing was left, except empty halls. Yuna walked through the corridors, shuttering at the stillness enveloped her. The air was damp and cold and a dripping sound was all that could be heard. Yuna stepped on the elevator, praying that it still had life. It rumbled and started down its long descent to the chamber of fayth.

Just the rest of the temple, the chamber of the fayth's colors had all faded. The lively colors had been sucked away and replaced with grayness. Tears started to run down her face as she started up the stone steps. This was where they first met. She remembered when he burst in the room, uninvited ready to rescue her. Yuna smiled at the thought, but the smile quickly faded as she entered the room.

The fayth that once rested inside was now a stone statue. Yuna circled around it a few times, her anger and frustration thrumming inside her. These creatures that she once celebrated and loved were now her enemy. She hated them for taking him away from her and leaving her alone in this state.

Yuna fell to her knees in a sob and started pounding the statue with her hands. She knew her actions were pointless and she wasn't going to gain anything, but all the frustration that she kept bottled inside was slowly seeping out of her. Tears of anger streamed down her face and hatred filled her thoughts.

She pounded and pounded, until her hands were badly bruised and cut. Once it hurt too much to pound anymore, Yuna curled up and nursed her injured hands. She felt pathetic and vulnerable. Never in her short, pathetic life did she ever lose control of her emotions. She had carried a lot of emotional baggage in her lifetime. She was careful to keep it all bottle up inside. Now she realized, however, that this baggage was slowly eating away her sanity. A silent madness had begun to take over.

This outburst, however, had saved her from such a fate and she already felt better. Although she still felt alone, she felt like a whole different person. Instead of pain and agony, Yuna felt relaxed and comfortable. She wasn't exactly happy, but she wasn't angry or sad either. There was a stab loneliness, but it was nowhere near to what it was before.

Yuna stood up and brushed herself off. Her hands stung as she did so, but she ignored the pain. She turned and left the room and left the temple. The sun was beginning to rise now and the village began to wake from its peaceful slumber. Already, many adults were starting off their day. Yuna smiled at the sight. Everything was so peaceful and relaxed. Fear was no longer sketched on people's faces. It wasn't twenty-four hours since the death of Sin and already the world seemed like a much happier place. For the first time since the defeat, Yuna finally did not regret destroying Sin.

Yuna held her chin high and descended the temple steps. A smile adorned Yuna's lips as many of the villagers began to stare. She waved pleasantly and they all approached her. Dozens of questions were hurled at her and she answered each and every one of them with simplicity and pride. The more she talked about the defeat, the happier she felt. He was gone, but she could still feel his presence somehow.

She told the group everything about her pilgrimage. She told them about the hardships and the plusses. One of those plusses, she explained, was a certain blonde. She shared with them her feelings towards him and about the episode in the spring. The only thing she left out was the immoral act she had done with him. She would eventually tell them, but she decided it was best to share it with her remaining guardians first. Maybe they could give her advice on what to do. Of course, with the telling of the story, the questions came.

They all waited anxiously to hear about the whereabouts of her love. Yuna's lips trembled as she informed them about what had happened to him. She was shaky, but tears did not come. She still longed for his warmth and presence, but she didn't feel like she couldn't possibly live now. The worried villagers all gave her their condolences, sensing the sadness radiating off of Yuna. They suddenly understood why she needed to be alone the night before. Finally, it was decided that there would be a big party tonight. It would not only commemorate Yuna's heroic deeds, but also the valor and relationship of the blonde blitzball player. Yuna smiled in gratitude.

**Darkness **was all that could be seen. It wasn't anything like he expected it to be. When he visited the Farplane in Guadosolam, he was surrounded by a beautiful waterfall and a meadow, where the millions of pyreflies flocked. It was peaceful and hopeful, but this world was foreboding and sinister.

He felt or saw nothing. The world was emotionless. All that was left was a dark, blank world. Sighing, he walked. He didn't know where he was going, or if he was going anywhere for that matter. It felt like had walked for ages when the world around him changed.

It was as if somebody had just turned the switch on sphere TV. Memories of his past began to fill the emptiness. He spun around, staring at all of them. The memories of her in a lot of them and they brought tears to his eyes. He missed her and hated himself for leaving her alone, but it wasn't like he had a choice.

Off in the corner of his eye he noticed that memories that were not his own flashed in the screen. He stared at them, confused by the visions. It was of a guy who looked like him, but he was with another woman. She had long chestnut hair that cascaded down her back. Her face was soft with soft features. She was delicate, yet strong. In a way, she kind of reminded of him of Yuna.

"You are more than what you think," a voice said suddenly. He turned around to find a hooded figure standing behind him.

"Who are you?" he asked shakily, disturbed by the sudden appearance of the strange figure.

The figure took a few step closers before replying, "That doesn't matter. What matters is you. You are special, more special than the fayth could ever imagine. They were wrong to erase you from the world."

"I don't understand," he stated. He studied the figure. The figure was about his height and stature. He could not see his face, but he could see the outline of a fairly handsome one. It was kind of shaped like his own.

"You will in time. For now, just follow me," the figure waved for him to follow. He turned his head towards the memories, debating on whether he should trust this man or not. Shrugging and realizing he had nothing better to do in his life, he reluctantly followed the figure's footsteps. Little did he know that a silent madness was beginning to take over his judgment. It was a madness that has been sleeping for a long time.

**After **what had seemed like ages, the group surrounding Yuna finally let up and went off to their duties. She was greeted by all her guardians. They had worried looks on their faces, but a smile adorned all of their lips. She smiled back at them, trying to silently reassure them that she was okay.

"So, a change of heart?" Rikku finally asked, while poking Yuna's ribs with her elbow.

"I'm sorry if I worried all of you, it's just that," Yuna sighed, while staring at the ground. It still hurt to talk about it, but at least she wasn't crying anymore. She only relented to silent grieving now.

"I know you loved him and I'm sorry about what happened. At least you're happy now though," Lulu whispered lovingly to her adopted daughter. She knew how it felt when somebody you loved passed away, or in Yuna's sense, disappeared. She was still recovering from the loss.

"I am happy. I am happy for what I had done. I admit, I regretted it, because Tidus disappeared, but I'm happy now. Which brings up another point, I really need to talk with you guys," Yuna explained. The guardians nodded, sensing that it was in private, so they all gathered inside Wakka and Lulu's tent.

Yuna rung her hands and began pacing, trying to find the will to speak. She knew they were going to upset with her. She had destroyed her trust to keep away from him, but she didn't care. She couldn't help herself. She felt lonely and scared and wanted to feel alive. "I have something to tell you," Yuna finally managed to say.

"What is it, ya?" Wakka asked. Worry had begun to fall on the group again as they watched Yuna pace back and forth. Her hands were shaking and she seemed a little scared.

"Before you get angry, please, don't hate me," Yuna said quickly.

"What's bothering you?" Lulu asked firmly.

Yuna stopped her pacing and looked at the group before replying, "I'm pregnant."

**A/N: **Okay, ending it here, because I'm evil. So, I know this story is a little confusing, but don't worry, it'll become clear in the chapters yet to come. I admit, the story is a little unclear for me as well, but I'm going to ponder over this and just let the words fall on the paper. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	3. Abandoned

**Dissimulation**

**Chapter 3: **Abandoned

_Once my ignorance was bliss  
Nightfall came  
Like a serpent's kiss  
To my troubled mind_

_Abandoned –Kamelot_

_Yuna's soft eyes wondered to the stars above her. It was a peaceful night in the Calm Lands. A calm wind brushed against Yuna's relaxed form. It was the first time since they reached the Calm Lands that she was calm._

_Tidus sat behind her, watching her form. He couldn't believe that the others had allowed him to accompany her on her usual alone periods. This was the first time the two have much less looked at each other since they entered the Calm Lands. Now, an awkward silence enveloped them. He shifted uncomfortably from his seat and tried to find words, but none came._

_He wanted to tell him how painful it was for her to ignore him like she did. He knew it was probably for the best, because the last thing he wanted was the others to find out what had happened. The kiss in the spring was all so sudden and impulsive, but he couldn't lie, he felt something in that lake. It was a feeling that had escaped him a year before._

"_It's peaceful out, isn't it," Yuna whispered, pulling Tidus out of his thoughtful haze. _

"_Huh, oh, yeah," Tidus answered awkwardly. She awkwardly turned around and faced him. A small smile adorned her lips, causing Tidus's heart to burn with pain. He wanted to hold her in his arms and taste her lips again. He wanted to confess his love for her, but he kept his mouth shut. He definitely didn't want to scare her._

"_Is everything alright?" Yuna asked._

"_Everything is perfect," Tidus lied. He stood up and stretched his arms, staring at the sky. He dared get lost in the simple beauty. Never in his life had he seen so many stars. Back at his home in Zanarkand, the lights covered up the stars at night. Only handfuls were able to break through the haze. Yuna stood up as well and stepped next to him._

"_It seems like something is bothering you," Yuna insisted._

"_I may seem absent-minded, but it's because I'm trying to figure out a way to save you," Tidus replied. The thought of Yuna's death suddenly made him feel sick to his stomach. Yuna reached out her hands and squeezed his tightly. Tidus flinched at the sudden contact. For the longest time he had dreamt of her touch, but now he was scared. _

"_Tidus, what does it feel like?" Yuna asked._

"_What does what feel like?" Tidus asked._

"_You know," Yuna said awkwardly. Tidus let go of her hand and faced her. A mask of confusing donned his face. Yuna couldn't help but smile. She couldn't help it, he was too cute. "Sex," she continued. _

_Tidus suddenly broke out into a coughing fit. He could not believe that **that **word had just come out of her mouth. Yuna rushed behind him and softly patted his back as Tidus struggled to capture his breath and his sanity. What bothered him even more was that she knew he had experience in the matter._

"_Are you okay?" Yuna asked after Tidus's fit seemed to lapse. Tidus waved it off, afraid to give an answer. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I can see it made you uncomfortable." Yuna continued sadly._

"_Actually, it just caught me by surprise. Never in my life would I have thought you would bring that up," Tidus chuckled awkwardly. He tried to bring some life into the situation, but it looked like his attempt failed. Yuna instead looked a little hurt. Her eyes sparkled with the hint of tears and her lips were pursed together in a frown. "Um, sorry," Tidus apologized._

"_Why does every think I'm this fragile little girl that will never reach adulthood. I know I won't live to see my eighteenth birthday, but I feel that I'm old enough to think for myself, you know!" Yuna spat angrily. Tidus opened his mouth to try and say something, but he was overpowered by her continuing rant. "I'm tired of people thinking about me that way. I have feelings too, you know! I've always dreamt of falling in love and experiencing just that. All you people think that I'm innocent and unaware of such a thing. Well I'm not and I want it more than anything! The truth is, I love you Tidus. I always have and I've been waiting for so long to say those words to you. If you feel the same way, then I want to show you love. I want to feel it. I don't want to die innocent."_

_Tidus was speechless. He let every word sink in. He had been waiting to hear those words from her for so long. At one point, he was wondering if his kiss was in vain and a huge mistake. Now he couldn't help, but lower his face towards hers. _

_Their lips came in contact once again. He let her take the lead as her lips awkwardly swam with his. He had to admit, it wasn't the best kiss he had ever received, but it was good enough. The same feeling that had enveloped him once before filled his insides again. He felt like he was on fire as the kiss grew deeper. Wanting to taste more, Tidus lightly licked her lips, forcing them to part so that his tongue could explore her mouth. Yuna pushed away._

"_What are you doing?" she asked breathlessly._

_Tidus licked his swollen lips before whispering. "Don't be scared. It's natural. You wanted to feel love and I'm giving it to you." He lightly caressed her cheek with his hand and smiled._

"_You're going to make love to me?" Yuna asked awkwardly._

"_It's what you want, isn't it?" Tidus asked. Yuna nodded and allowed his lips to close on hers again. This time, she allowed him to explore and take the lead. This was the beginning of an event that would change her life forever._

**Yuna's **faithful guardians stared back at Yuna unblinkingly. They were all in a sense of shock from the news that Yuna had brought forth to them, all of them, except for Rikku. Instead a devilish grin adorned her lips. Yuna bit her lip nervously, hoping that somebody would say something soon. Rikku was the first to fulfill her wish.

"You're pregnant?" Rikku squealed. She rushed over to Yuna and hugged her tightly. Lulu, Wakka, and Kimahri stood back, watching the tearful couple as they hugged each other awkwardly. None of them could find anything to say. They couldn't believe that Yuna had fallen into Tidus's lustful trap.

"Do you know what this means?" Rikku continued.

"No," Yuna replied. She tried to ignore the others' piercing stares, but she couldn't fight the queasiness that was rumbling in her stomach.

"If Tidus wasn't real, like the fayth said he wasn't, then how could he reproduce?" Rikku poked Yuna's ribs with her elbow.

"What are you saying?" Yuna asked.

"I'm saying that if he was a so called dream, then how could he have created a child? I would think such a thing would be impossible, you know!" Rikku explained.

"That's obviously not true, because the people back in his world were able to have children," Yuna grumbled. She didn't want to be pulled into another lie. He was gone and she was willing to accept that. It hurt her to do so, but it was all she could do. He was now resting peacefully in the Farplane.

"They could reproduce in his world. This is our world Yuna. Two totally different worlds connected by a force created by the fayth," Rikku insisted. Yuna just rolled her eyes and rubbed the pounding headache that had developed. She wouldn't believe any of this. She didn't know what significance Rikku had discovered and she wasn't about to find out. She didn't want to fall into another emotional trap that only gave her pain and suffering. "C'mon Yuna! I think we're on to something. Maybe this will be a way to bring him back. Maybe he's not really a dream, but a soul trapped in the fayth's so-called dream world," Rikku continued to insist.

"Rikku, look, I appreciate your help, but please do not do this to me. I don't need this right now," Yuna said bitterly. Rikku nodded and shrugged the idea off. This was the kind of reaction she was expecting, but she thought she could give it a whirl. It just seemed plausible and it made it seem like there could be a way to bring poor Tidus back.

"You guys are awful quiet," Yuna snorted towards her guardians. They still stood in their confused trance, trying to gather the right strength to say what was on their minds. Most of their thoughts weren't exactly happy thoughts.

Lulu finally broke away from her spell, "How could you destroy our trust like that! We thought you were better than that!" Yuna flinched at the sudden burst of anger and she could feel the tears begin to flood towards her eyes, but she held them back. She couldn't cry now. She had to remain strong. She was kind of expecting this reaction anyway.

"Lu is right. We trusted you. We thought you were strong enough not to fall in his trap. I knew that he had an eye on you the moment he met you. I guess he was a lot stronger than we thought." Wakka agreed angrily.

"I can't believe you're saying this about him! I was the one who asked for it, not him! I didn't want to die without experiencing it! He is a good man and he is also the man I love. I don't care what you say, I love him and I don't regret carrying his legacy! I know I'll end up raising his child on my own, but none of that matters to me! What matters is that I loved him and there is nothing you can possibly do to change that!" Yuna screamed. She then spun on her heel and stormed out. She could feel the villages pressing stares as she strolled briskly out of the village. Kimahri came out of the tent after Yuna and followed her footsteps.

Tears flooded from her eyes as she followed the long paths towards the beach. Wakka and Lulu's words swarmed in her head and she suddenly felt alone and helpless. The world was going to shun her for sure. She knew the people of Spira would look down upon her now. They still followed the strict codes of Yevon, even if Yuna had thrown the codes out of her life. Suddenly she felt so abandoned.

She finally reached the beach and found herself walking towards the docks. She stepped to the edge and stared down. Her reflection echoed in the murky waves below. Tears were now sliding down her face.

"Yuna okay?" a booming voice asked suddenly. Yuna spun to find Kimahri standing behind her. His black beady eyes were full of worry and compassion as he cautiously stepped closer. He brought up his blue finger and stroked a single tear away.

"Oh, Kimahri!" Yuna cried. She fell into his open arms and let her cheek rest against his muscular chest. Kimahri wrapped his strong arms around her and held her close.

"Kimahri not mad at Yuna. Kimahri happy for Yuna. Kimahri know that Yuna loved him," Kimahri's heavily accented voice boomed. Yuna started to cry harder at Kimahri's words. Kimahri had always been a faithful guardian. He protected her and was the only one that ever listened. Yuna was grateful for him. "Kimahri thinks guardians will be okay after initial shock disappears," Kimahri continued.

"I don't really care what they think about what I have done. I'm just angry that they treat him like this. They blame him for everything and it's sick. I was the one who made this decision, not him, but somehow it's his fault," Yuna's muffled voice complained.

Kimahri smiled, "Kimahri thinks guardians don't trust him, because his world is so different than Spira. Guardians know people in dream world don't follow Yevon's strict codes," Kimahri explained.

"I miss him," Yuna whispered.

"Kimahri knows. Kimahri think Yuna should listen to Rikku. Kimahri thinks what Rikku said may mean something," Kimahri whispered back. Yuna pulled away from her guardian and glared at him. She couldn't believe those words had just come out of his mouth. She didn't want this to become an obstacle that led to nothing. Instead, she felt that she needed to let it go and accept what had happened. She feared that if she searched for a way to bring him back, she would devote her entire life to it and it would lead to nothing.

"Kimahri, I know it may seem a little strange, but I don't want this and I definitely don't need this right now. I don't want to get myself caught up into something that leads to nothing. I fear if I would happen to follow Rikku's theory, I would end up nowhere. I have a child to raise now and I can't abandon it to solve my problems. Instead, I need to forget," Yuna explained.

"Kimahri understands, but Kimahri thinks Yuna should still try and talk to fayth. Kimahri thinks fayth may give answers," Kimahri insisted.

"The fayth are gone. I've visited the temple here in Besaid and they have turned to stone. There is no life left among them. Even the Cloister of Trials has turned lifeless," Yuna muttered.

"Fayth would completely abandon Spira. Kimahri knows fayth still live in Yuna. Kimahri thinks Yuna should go to Bevelle. Yuna should try and contact fayth there. Fayth in Bevelle had a strong connection with him," Kimahri defended. "If fayth can't give answer, then Yuna can come back to Besaid and live normal life," Kimahri continued.

"Kimahri, do you really think that there is some significance here? Will be here to guide me along the way?" Yuna asked. She pulled away from Kimahri's thick embrace and stared at him unblinkingly. Kimahri smiled and nodded, while ruffling her soft hair. Yuna smiled back, "Then I will go. I guess it doesn't hurt to try."

**Tidus **and this mysterious figure had been walking what seemed like ages. The only thing that could not be seen was blackness. Tidus wanted to ask where this figure was taking him, but he remained silent. Suddenly a light began to appear. It was faint and distant at first, but the light began to grow. It began to eat away the darkness and soon, Tidus was surrounded by nothing but life.

"Is this the Farplane?" Tidus asked.

"No, this is the connection between the dream world and the real world. That darkness you had encountered was the dream world. Instead of going to the Farplane, you were sent to the dream world. While all the others were sent away, you remained. That is because you are not like the rest. You are much powerful," the figure explained.

"Does this mean that I will be able to enter the real world?" Tidus asked.

"You can, but not by yourself. That is why I'm here. Your entire existence relies on me," the figure said evilly.

"What do you mean?" Tidus asked.

"Amateurs," the figure scoffed. He eased himself in front of Tidus and reached up to pull down the hood that was covering his face. Tidus gasped in horror as he was staring at a face like his own.

"Who, who are you?" Tidus stammered helplessly.

"I am the madness that has been sleeping inside of you. You are nothing but a dissimulation. You mask my true form and hide the intentions that surround me. Now, I have awaken and soon you will be able to see her again," the figure whispered.

"I don't understand! What is your name?" Tidus asked.

"My name is not important to you, what is important is that you need to see her again. She feels abandoned and needs your warmth and help. Now, allow me to work my magic and you will get that chance to see her and be there for her. Her world is about to change drastically, for she carries your legacy. She needs you, Tidus. She needs you. Don't allow yourself to abandon her," the figure explained.

"Who are you talking about, I don't understand!" Tidus said through clenched teeth. His mind was spinning and he wasn't sure if he should trust this figure. Everything seemed uncanny, but the whole idea of getting a chance to see Yuna again was very enticing. What bothered him more was the fact that she seemed to be in trouble.

"Just accept my offer and you will soon understand. She needs you Tidus. Don't abandon her like the world," the figure insisted. Tidus shook his head and began to turn away, but the figure suddenly appeared in front of him. He was like an apparition, a ghost of his past. "Tidus, there is no turning back now. You need to help her by not abandoning her!" the figure growled.

"I don't trust you," Tidus growled.

"There need naught be trust, just understanding," the figure smiled.

"How can I take this path if I don't trust you? How do I know that things will be okay?" Tidus asked.

"Trust will come later. Now come, a lot of work must be done," the figure held out his hand to motion for Tidus to follow. Intuition told Tidus to just walk away and not accept this, but his heart told him follow. Finally his love for Yuna triumphed over all and he found himself taking his hand and allowing the process to begin.

**A/N: **So, I don't have much to say, but I definitely like this chapter and I'm definitely starting to like my ideas for this story. It's going to get dark and spooky. Anyway, tell me what you think about it! I'm anxious to hear your thoughts. I hope it wasn't too spooky, lol.


	4. Amaranth

-**Dissimulation**

**Chapter 4: **Amaranth

_There is the one  
The never-fading rain in your heart  
That chooses snow-white sorrow  
There is the one, the hiding Amaranth  
In a land of the daybreak  
-Amaranth by Nightwish_

_Like the petals of an amaranth, the man who had once faded and withered away, had regained his radiance once more. His tan skin seemed to glow with life as he examined his work. A crooked smile formed on his tender red lips and the sweet taste of revenge filled his taste buds. The transformation was almost complete and the demon that slept deep in the safety of the farplane would awaken once more…_

Butterflies fluttered in Yuna's stomach as the outskirts of Bevelle began to fly underneath them. A city that was once so radiant and glow with wonder, now had lost its color as it laid in ruins below them. The fact that the Hymn of the Fayth no longer reverberated off the walls, probably had something to do with it as well.

Yuna could only feel sorry the city. After all, she was responsible for the damage. She was the one that caused Sin to topple to the buildings below. "We'll be there in just a few, so brace yourselves." Cid's gruff voice broke Yuna out of her thoughts.

She nodded smoothly and her eyes fell back to the city below once more. The city was clouded with mystery, but would the answers that Yuna was seeking hidden underneath the clouded remains. Yuna wasn't so sure.

She touched her stomach. A small bump was starting to form as the only piece of him grew inside her. She couldn't believe that she was with child. She always dreamed of having children of her own, but her goal had always been to become a summoner and die protecting the world she loved so much. However, here she was, pregnant and alone. The child's father had perished instead of her. It was just too ironic.

Yuna's stomach suddenly dropped as she felt the airship start it's rapid descent towards the tattered city. Yuna watched as the onlookers watched in horror as the forbidden machina landed smoothly onto a small patch of grass.

The platform suddenly rumbled to life and began to lower towards the ground. At it's wake stood Yuna, with Rikku and Kimahri standing close behind her. The grounds suddenly erupted in cheers at the sight of her. Yuna forced a smile and began to descend down the platform.

A priest suddenly appeared, pushing through the vast crowd. "What in Yevon's name! Oh, Lady Yuna, what a surprise!" The priest gasped. He made a small bow towards Yuna. Yuna nodded back, unmoved by the sudden kindness of the priest. Afterall, just months before she was scorned by all of the followers in the temple of Bevelle. "What can we do for you?" the priest asked breathlessly.

"I would like to visit the chamber of the fayth," Yuna announced. She ignored the heavy gasps of the crowd surrounding them.

"But milady, the fayth are all gone," the priest informed her.

"I know they are gone, but I need to visit it. It's personal," Yuna said bitterly. The last thing she wanted to do was dive deeper into the subject. The reactions of Lulu and Wakka were bad enough, she wasn't ready to face the rest of Spira just yet.

"I see, well, I'll see what I can do. Follow me," the priest ordered. Yuna nodded and followed closely behind him.

The journey to the temple was seemed long. The anticipation of the events that would soon take place was more than Yuna could handle. She wasn't even sure if she would receive the answers she was seeking. After all, the fayth were gone due to her. The once protectors of Spira were now resting peacefully in the farplane.

However, it seemed unlikely that the fayth would completely destroy their connection to Spira. They had given their lives to fight for peace throughout the land. Was the danger in Spira truly gone or would there be a time again where Spira would lay in trouble?

They finally reached the temple and entered it. The once beautiful temple now stood gray and lifeless. The beautiful hymn of the fayth no longer vibrated amongst the expanding walls. Ahead of her stood the elevator that stood still.

"Kimahri, Rikku, wait for me here. This is something that I have to do alone," Yuna sighed. Her two remaining guardians nodded in agreement and took steps back. Yuna's foot gingerly stepped onto the platform and it thankfully whirred with life. It began it's long ascent towards the cloister of the trials.

The vibrant blue hues of the trials no longer existed. Memories hit her immediately as she walked down the quiet room. She remembered struggling to solve the complicated puzzles of the trials herself, without the help of her guardians. She was able to fight through it, however, and reach the fayth.

Now, however, she walked through it without difficulty. After the time of the summoners had set, the elevators had stopped to allow passage without difficulty. Before now time, Yuna had reached the chamber of the fayth. Yuna reached down to open the heavy door to enter the room where the fayth once lived.

Again, the walls had lost their vibrant colors and the fayth's body lay in stone below her. However, Yuna knelt down and began to search for the connection that she once held with the fayth. She pushed and pushed with her magic, but all it did was drain her. The radiant threads that once existed in her conscious mind were no longer there. Yuna pulled out and fell to the ground with a sob.

She began to beat the ground once more with frustration. Tears began to spill down her face. All evidence of resolve within her were lost. Like the last time, no matter how hard she beat upon the petrified body of the fayth, nothing happened. She felt stupid for actually believing that she would be able to get the answers. She felt angry at Kimahri for even suggesting such a thing. He had filled her head with to much hope.

"Yuna," a faint whisper suddenly said. Yuna lifted her heavy head and noticed a floating figure standing in front of her. It was the small child that had appeared before her many times before. "Yuna," the child whispered again, this time a little louder.

"You're here!" Yuna gasped.

"You are in a lot of distress. I can feel it in the connection between us," the fayth said softly. "You seek answers and answers you will receive," the fayth continued.

"The connection still exists?" Yuna asked, somewhat bewildered.

"Yes, Spira may be in peace now, but there may come a time again where we will be needed again. We can't completely obliterate our connection to the world, so a piece of us lives in each and every past summoner. That piece will then be passed down through your and everybody else's generation," the fayth explained.

Yuna's stomach churned at the thought. The child that was currently resting inside of her, would be one of the few keys in the world to contact the forces that once protected Spira. Yuna had already made a significant mark in the world, she didn't want to make it even deeper. "So, the child that I'm currently bearing will hold that sacred connection?" Yuna asked.

"You are with child?" the fayth asked. Yuna's face paled as she slowly nodded her head. Instead of an angry outburst, however, a smile started to play on the floating child's tender lips. "May I ask who the father is?"

"Well, that is what leads me to the most important question of all," Yuna explained. She stopped for a minute and took deep breaths to keep her composure. She didn't want to break down into a feeble state in front of the fayth once more. "Is it possible for a person from the dream world to create a child in the real world?"

The fayth's once calm expressions immediately twisted into a state of shock. "Are you sure he is the father?" the fayth's unsteady voice asked.

Yuna nodded, "Yes, he is the one and only man I have ever slept with and the one and only man I will ever truly love."

"How can that be possible? There is no way a dream can possibly reproduce with somebody from Spira," the dream whispered thoughtfully. "That kind of connection would be very dangerous."

"Why so?" Yuna asked.

"Because we knew the time would eventually come when we can finally rest. Once we rested the dream world would rest too. If somebody was from both worlds half of them would die and the other half would still live. They would get trapped between life and death," the fayth explained.

"Do you think?" Yuna asked quickly. Fear gripped through her at the thought. Could Tidus be trapped? Yuna did not want to think about the thought.

"He may be. How it happened without us knowing, I don't know. One thing I do know is that he is the dangerous of them all to be trapped there," the said thoughfully.

"Is there anyway he can get out?" Yuna asked fearfully. The fayth didn't answer. Instead he turned and stared at the vacant walls of the once magnificent chamber. Yuna played with her hands, trying to stop her from lashing out and strangling the floating figure.

The man that she loved was most likely trapped and alone. She couldn't bear to think about the loneliness he was most likely experiencing. Tears began to stream down her face at the thought. Oh how she wanted to dive into his world and place her arms around his shoulders and feel his kiss upon her lips.

"Please, fayth, please tell if there is any way we can save him?" Yuna begged. She got to her knees and pressed her hands against her chest.

The fayth suddenly turned, anger flaring in its eyes, "Go to Besaid, immediately!" The fayth then turned and disappeared. Yuna gasped with horror. She had never seen the fayth so angry before. She didn't even think they had emotions. She stood up, wiped her eyes, and turned towards the exit. Figuring right now it would be best to follow the fayth's orders.

**A/N: **Sorry for the long wait, it's just that I've been very busy. I'm now a freshman at college and it's just been pretty hectic. I have found time to write though, as you can tell. I'm sorry for the chapter being so short, it's just I to end it here.


	5. Death of a Dream

**Dissimulation**

**Chapter 5: **Death of a Dream

_The curtain has fallen_

_There's no one behind_

_Corrected one mistake_

_But I am still around_

_-Death of a Dream by Epica_

The cool water felt refreshing as Tidus's eyes flickered open. He took a long stretch and a smile started to play on his lips. He wasn't sure where he was, but he was grateful to feel the cold water on his face once more. It was definitely a lot better than the cold, lonely feeling he left just hours before. The wager still weighed down in his mind, but the fact that he was alive seemed to overshadow the danger. Instead, he focused on seeing her again. He couldn't wait to enter her warm embrace once more.

Tidus looked above him, wondering where he ended up. With his luck, he was probably stuck halfway between Kilika and Besaid Islands. There was only one way to find out, he decided and so, he began his long swim up to the surface. After what seemed like ages, he gratefully felt warm sunshine suck the outside of his face. The slender shore of Besaid decorated the horizon and Tidus was pleased.

_Tidus slipped his fingers into his mouth and let out a shrilly whistle. "What was that?"Yuna asked with large surprise in her voice._

_Tidus giggled, "In Zanarkand, we do this to cheer on Blitzball players." Tidus whistled again and Yuna's eyes widened with surprise. "You try it too! Put your fingers in your mouth like this," Tidus said with his fingers between his mouth._

_Yuna copied, "Like this?"_

_Tidus shook his head, "Uh huh, not like that. Like this. Then you just blow." Yuna tried repeatedly, but she was unable to accomplish the same shrilly whistle that Tidus was able to produce effortlessly._

"_It's not working," Yuna complained, with apparent frustration in her voice._

"_Practice," Tidus smiled._

_Yuna nodded, "Okay."_

"_Hey, use that if we get separated. Then, I'll come running, okay? Well,_

_guess we should just stick together, then, till you can do it," Tidus explained._

Tidus lifted his fingers to his mouth once more and produced a whistle. The shrill echoed throughout the atmosphere. He then floated on his back, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face.

**Yuna **paced back and forth, wringing her hands together. They were currently on their way back to Besaid. The desperate plea that the fayth had given her still was ringing in her head. The alarm in their voice still sent chills down her spine. Rikku and Kimahri stood close by, watching her every mood. "Yuna, please calm down," Rikku whispered to her cousin.

"I am not going to be calm until we get there," Yuna snapped. Rikku stepped back, taken back by the sudden burst of anger that flowed out of Yuna's mouth. Kimahri placed a hand on Rikku's shoulder and directed her to stand close by and leave Yuna alone.

Yuna peered out the window and watched Kilika Island fly by and she felt her nervousness and anxiety begin to escalate to unbearable levels. Would he be there, waiting for her? Why was the fayth so concerned and why did they seem so angry. The mystery that shrouded the situation was all too unbearable. She wanted answers and she wanted answers now.

As soon as Yuna felt the familiar feeling of a rapid descent, she started to make a move towards the exit. The world moved like a blur then. She began to hear the ramp open and she jogged down. To her bewilderment she found the familiar figure staring at the contraption. Tears began to fall down her face as she ran down the ramp. She couldn't wait until the ramp reached the bottom, so she made a perilous jump down into the water below and began to run towards him. He opened his arms and allowed her to fall into him.

"There you are," he whispered softly. Yuna nodded and pressed her face against his firm chest, accepting the warmth that he gave her. She couldn't believe it, the world just moments before felt so empty and cold. Just seeing her sends warmth throughout her body.

"I missed you so much," Yuna whispered lightly into Tidus's ear.

"How long was I gone?" Tidus asked.

"Only a couple of days," Yuna answered. Tidus smiled and pressed his soft lips upon Yuna's. Yuna almost collapsed in that very spot as she felt his very soul press up against her. The last days she had been craving this very moment and now it was here. She couldn't believe it. He was back, standing right here, pressing his loving lips upon her. The dreams that she always held, but never ever thought she would receive these dreams.

However the moment of bliss immediately passed and fell down towards her womb. She knew she would have to tell him, but when would the right time? When they are standing here, so happy within each other's arms?

"You bastard!" somebody yelled suddenly. Yuna and Tidus pulled apart and their eyes fell upon a scowling Wakka and Lulu. Tidus looked down upon Yuna, fear flashing before his eyes.

"Let me handle this," Yuna said shakily. She took a deep breath and began to walk towards the scowling group. Tidus trailed closely behind, fear and confusion fogging his senses. What were they so angry about? He was hoping for a happy welcoming, but they were obviously angry about something. "Please don't do this now," Yuna urged suddenly.

"I am going to do what I damn well please, ya! He needs to pay for what he did!" Wakka growled.

"What did I do?" Tidus asked angrily. He could feel the familiar boiling feeling of resentment clouding the air. Wakka stood there, his face red hot. Lulu was standing close behind, her lips pursed and her eyes fiery with anger.

"Lulu, Wakka, please don't do this now!" Yuna begged. She stepped in front of Tidus, trying to hide the tears that were beginning to come out uncontrollably. Tidus had a dumbfounded look on his face.

"Get the hell out of the way, Yuna. I need to teach this bastard a lesson!" Wakka growled. He started cracking his knuckles and his face was starting to turn a deep shade of purple. Tidus's face was beginning to pale.

"Please! Not now!" Yuna cried, but she couldn't stop Wakka's larger form from plowing through and punching Tidus square in the jaw. Tidus knocked backgrounds, shocked by the sudden impact. "No!" Yuna shrieked, but Lulu grabbed her before she could run and try to pry Wakka away from Tidus.

"You defiled her, you bastard! How dare you!" Wakka screamed. He punched Tidus again, knocking Tidus to the ground. Tidus lay there like a log, too shocked and scared to fight back. "You just better get the hell out of here, ya! You are no longer welcome!" Wakka spat. "Not to mention, you don't even fight back! You are a fucking weakling, ya!"

"You're wrong!" a hoarse voice suddenly called back. Wakka turned around to find Tidus standing up. A light trickle of blood was streaming out of his nose and a large bruise was beginning to swell on the corner of his jaw, but he didn't seem to notice. "You are going to pay for what you just did!" Tidus snarled. Then he charged at Wakka, knocking him back a few feet.

"You fucking deserve it, you bastard!" Wakka screamed as he wiped the blood from his swollen lip. Tidus's eyes flashed again and he pushed Wakka down to the ground and started to kick him repeatedly in the stomach. His body was stiff with anger and it appeared that he had lost control.

"Stop!" Lulu screamed. She ran towards him, but Tidus pushed her and knocked her to the ground.

"Tidus, please, stop!" Yuna cried as she grabbed Tidus's waist and pulled him back. Tidus, however, was not done and he grabbed Yuna's arms and pried them off of her and went after him again. "TIDUS!" Yuna screamed. Tears were beginning to stream down her face again as she watched Tidus continue to kick Wakka in the ribs. Wakka rolled up in a ball, unable to do anything else. Lulu finally stood up and sent a lightning bolt down upon Tidus. Tidus fell to the ground, unconscious.

"So we see Tidus's true colors," Lulu mumbled. She bent down towards the crumpled Wakka and started to cast several cure spells to ease the pain. Yuna crawled over to Tidus's unconscious body and placed his head into her lap. Whispers suddenly echoed through the air and to Yuna's horror, a crowd had begun to develop.

"Oh Tidus, what have you done?" Yuna whispered. She began to run her fingers through his soft hair. Something was different about him, but she couldn't pinpoint what. His eyes seemed different. They didn't seem like the soft, caring eyes she had fallen in love with. Instead, something about them made them seem darker and angry. Did his trip to the farplane change him that much?

What alarmed her was the fact that about half the village had witnessed the event. There was no way they would be able to accept her pregnancy now. Yuna touched her stomach tenderly and tears began to well up again. Rikku and Kimahri knelt down next to her, touching her shoulders tenderly for comfort.

"Oh good, Kimahri, will you please carry Wakka back to the village?" Lulu asked suddenly. Kimahri nodded and walked over towards the limp Wakka. "Yuna, let's go." Lulu ordered. Yuna just shook her head and hugged Tidus closer to her. "Yuna, there is no way I am going to let you be with this madman. You saw what he did to Wakka, who's to say he won't do the same for you and the baby," Lulu growled.

Yuna's eyes suddenly flashed with fear as she saw the crowd gasp. They now knew the secret she wanted to keep hidden for just a little longer. "I can't leave him," Yuna begged, but Lulu wasn't going to take no for an answer. She and another Besaidian that Yuna didn't recognize picked her up and drug her away from her unconscious love.

"Rikku, get that beast off of this island, he is no longer welcome on these lands," Lulu snarled.

"Rikku!" Yuna cried as she tried to break free from Lulu and the other man's tight grasp, but Rikku had two Al Bheds pick up Tidus and carry him back towards the airship. Just when the two had finally gotten back together happily, they were torn apart once again. Would there be an end to this? Only the future could tell.

**A/N: **Sorry for taking so long to update. I've been busy with college and stuff. However, I finally found some time and decided to write a chapter quickly. I know it's not very good, but I didn't want to keep you hanging anymore. Also, I know it is short, but this seemed like a good ending spot. I will try and update a little sooner, I promise.


	6. Bleeding Love

**Dissimulation**

**Chapter 5: Bleeding Love**

_Closed off from love_

_I didn't need this pain_

_Once or twice was enough_

_And it was all in vain_

_Time starts to pass_

_Before you know it, you're frozen_

_-Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis_

Yuna paced in the tent, tears of anguish streaming down her face. She couldn't believe that in just a few minutes she was separated from him once again. She could still feel his warmth encompassing her. So many days had passed without that feeling again, and when she had them within her grasps, it was torn from her once again.

She hugged herself tightly, letting the tears fall. She let the incident replay in her mind. His eyes had turned bright red with intense fury and she would never forget the way they had looked. They have been permanently infused in the workings of her brain. Yuna's eyes turned over to the contraption hidden underneath her pillow. It was her only way of communicating with Rikku.

She wanted to tear it out from underneath her pillow and make the connection, but she knew she would have to wait. There was a chance that Lulu would come back and find her only means of communication. Yuna let out a frustrated snarl and fell onto her bed, the tears falling again. Why did life have to be so unfair?

**Tidus's **eyes fluttered open. His body felt heavy and every muscle seemed to ache. "What happened?" he groaned, his throat feeling extremely dry.

"Here, drink this," Rikku's voice chimed. She pressed a cup of water to his lips and allowed him to drink from it. The water felt calm and soothing to his burning throat.

"Thanks," Tidus sighed. He felt somewhat better and allowed himself to look around. He found himself in the familiar surroundings of the airship. "Where's Yuna?" Tidus asked.

Rikku's head dropped, "She's back in Besaid."

"Then why I am here? Take me back there!" Tidus ordered. He sat up and stared angrily into Rikku's eyes.

"Do you seriously not remember anything?" Rikku asked, bewildered.

"Um, I remember getting my ass kicked by Wakka and then I blacked out," Tidus said, a little frustrated.

"Talk about blind rage," Rikku muttered. She took a deep breath and placed her hands on Tidus's shoulders to try and keep him calm, "You sort of went beserk and nearly killed Wakka."

Tidus's eyes widened with disbelief, "Come again?"

"You blacked out for a minute and then all of a sudden attacked Wakka and nearly killed him. Needless to say, you got yourself kicked off the island and Yuna is being held captive under Lulu's careful watch," Rikku explained a little better. Tidus's eyes rolled with confusion as he looked back at Rikku. There was no way he could have done anything like that. He had never been a fighter, the memories of his days in grade school still strong in his mind. There wasn't a day where he didn't go home without getting beat up.

"There is no way," Tidus growled. "I would never do something like that! There has to be a mistake! Take me back, she needs me!" Tears began to stream down his face as his mind began to fully comprehend the situation.

"Tidus, I am sorry… There is nothing I can do at this point. I have a way of contacting Yuna, but she is the one that has to call me first. We will think of something then, okay?" Rikku said, trying her best to comfort him. Tidus just shook his head and buried his head into his hands. Just when he finally miraculously came back, she was torn from him again. She was torn from his protection and for some reason, he felt the need to protect her stronger than ever before.

"Rikku, can I ask you something?" Tidus asked finally, after the tears stopped flowing.

"Go ahead," Rikku sighed.

"Why was Wakka so angry?" Tidus asked. He looked up into Rikku's eyes. Rikku felt the tears start to fall. Despite the fact that he looked like a complete mess right now, he was still undeniably beautiful and innocent. Rikku felt nothing but sympathy for the poor boy. However, she did not know if it was her place to tell him the news.

Rikku sighed, "I will let Yuna explain that to you, I don't think it is my place."

Tidus scowled, "So, you aren't going to tell me then?"

Rikku shook her head, "Well, we should be nearing the campground we have created ourselves, so we should be getting ready to leave." Tidus growled. Never in his life had he felt so confused and out of place. Everybody was hiding something from him and he desperately wanted to know what it was.

Rikku got up from the bed and began her way out of the cabin that they were sitting in. Tidus decided to do the same and forced his sore muscles to work and walked with a heavy heart towards the exit.

**The **sun was beginning to set as Yuna left her tent. Things had finally calmed down after the healers were able to help Wakka with their best abilities. He was now resting comfortably in his bed and Yuna was able to finally get some fresh air. The commsphere was tucked safely underneath her long skirt. She would find a safe place somewhere deep in the woods and contact Rikku there.

It had been a long day and all Yuna wanted to focus on right now was finding out whether or not the man she loved deeply was safe and okay. Yuna took a deep breath and turned around to see if anybody was following her. There was nobody in sight and she sighed with relief. Lulu and Kimahri were both keeping a watchful eye on Wakka, so her escape seemed to be going well at this point.

Yuna veered off the path and began to walk blindly into the woods. The last rays of sunshine were barely visible in the deep woods and she found herself enveloped in darkness. It strangely matched the feeling of emptiness and darkness that was currently in Yuna's heart.

When she felt like she was deep enough in the woods, she found a good size boulder to sit on and made the connection. It took a couple of minutes, but suddenly she found Rikku's face in the blue screen of the sphere.

"Finally got away?" Rikku asked, forcing a smile on her face. For the first time, the usual happy glowing aura that surrounded Rikku seemed to have virtually disappeared. Yuna felt her heart drop, she didn't mean to get Rikku involved so much. All she could do was nod in reply. "How is he?" Rikku continued.

"Wakka is fine now. We were able to heal his wounds successively and he is now resting peacefully under Lulu and Kimahri's watch," Yuna explained.

"Yuna!" Tidus's voice suddenly yelled. Yuna bit her lip to stop the tears that were begging to be released. She was so grateful to finally hear is friendly voice again and it was good to hear that he had recovered.

**Tidus **pushed Rikku out of the way and stared into the screen, grateful to see her beautiful face again. "Is that you?" he asked, exasperated.

"Yes it is me. How are you?" Yuna's shaky voice asked.

"That doesn't matter, are you okay?" Tidus asked.

"I am so sorry about earlier. Wakka should have not acted the way that he should," Yuna muttered softly. The deep sense of guilt became strong once again at the thought. There was no way he deserved this and she couldn't help feel like it was her fault.

"Don't go apologizing, Yuna. Look, whatever the hell is up his ass isn't your fault, okay?" Tidus growled. "What is his problem anyway?"

Yuna looked into the commsphere with the saddest eyes Tidus had ever seen in his life. He felt his heart jolt with deep pain. He had never seen Yuna in this state before and wished there was a way he can jump through the sphere and pull her into his arms. He wanted and needed only her overwhelming warmth.

"Tidus, they know what we did," Yuna whispered.

Tidus's eyes widened with shock, "Wait, how?"

Yuna sighed and wiped a single tear from her eye and began to rub her stomach gently, before looking into the commsphere once more, "Tidus, I am…"

Suddenly the commsphere turned off and her beautiful face was lost. "WHAT THE HELL?" Tidus screamed suddenly. Rikku rushed over and looked at the worthless contraption.

"She must have turned the sphere off," Rikku informed him.

"What?! Why!" Tidus growled. He turned to face Rikku, his eyes red with fury once more.

"I don't know why, Tidus. Please, just calm down," Rikku said, backing away a little. The same red fury that was in his eyes when he nearly killed Wakka had returned and Rikku felt a fear for her life.

"How can I calm down! She was finally going to tell him what you fail to tell him and she just cuts it off?! What is she afraid of, the little bitch!" Tidus screamed. Rikku's eyes suddenly widened with shock, Tidus's words puzzling her.

"Did you just call her a bitch?!" Rikku screamed.

"I believe I did, imagine that. She's fucking worthless, I don't see what the hell he sees in her!" Tidus growled. He then turned and stormed away, leaving Rikku lost and forgotten by the events that just took place.

"Did he just talk in third person?" Rikku asked herself out loud. She felt her knees crumble and the tears fall.

**Yuna **quickly turned off the sphere and turn around to find Lulu and Kimahri standing behind her. "Um, hi," Yuna said awkwardly. She quickly stood up and hid the commsphere behind her back.

"What are you doing out here in the middle of the woods and what is that you are hiding?" Lulu asked bitterly. Her red eyes were burning with intense fury, causing Yuna to shiver with fear.

"I needed some time alone," Yuna replied shakily.

"What is that?" Lulu demanded while pointing to Yuna's arm that was tucked safely behind her back.

"I don't know what you are talking about," Yuna muttered.

"Give it to me," Lulu demanded. She walked up to the shivering Yuna and pried the sphere out of Yuna's hands. "You are not to speak with him! He brings you nothing but trouble!" Lulu growled. She then turned around and began to head back towards the village. Yuna felt her knees crumble and Kimahri rush to her side


	7. Breathe No More

**Dissimulation**

**Chapter 7: Breathe No More**

_I've been looking in the mirror for so long._  
_That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side._

_All the little pieces falling, shatter._  
_Shards of me,_

_Too sharp to put back together.  
Too small to matter,  
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.  
If I try to touch her,  
And I bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe no more._

_-Breathe No More by Evanescence_

Tidus opened his eyes to find himself leaning against the wall of the airship in a vacant hall, with a large bottle of whiskey resting in his right hand. The bottle was empty. Tidus stared at it with bewilderment. The last thing he remembered was Yuna shutting off the commsphere suddenly before she had the chance to tell him why they were so mad at him. Now he was sitting in an abandoned hallway, with a bottle of whiskey completely ran dry. "Am I going mad?" Tidus asked himself. He tried to stand up, but the familiar dizziness and headache of a hangover took over. Tidus groaned, but continued to stand up, using the wall for support. He threw the bottle of whiskey across the wall and began to slowly drag himself towards the door.

"Tidus, there you are," Rikku breathed. Her high pitched voice rang through Tidus's hurting head, causing him to flinch. 

"What happened last night," Tidus grumbled.

"I don't know, you lost your temper and disappeared," Rikku told him. Once again her voice caused him to flinch. "Are you alright?"

"Hungover," Tidus growled. He slid down the wall, his legs unable to hold his weight.

"You were awfully upset," Rikku whispered. She knelt down to him and handed him a couple of pills. "Here, take these for the headache and if you sit tight for a minute, I'll go get you a beer," Rikku continued.

"Thanks," Tidus grunted. Rikku nodded and disappeared down the hall Tidus leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes, trying to remember everything that happened the night before. He remembered calling Yuna on the sphere device Rikku had and talking with her, but just as she was about to say something very important the picture shut off and everything after that was blank. He heard the familiar padding of feet again and Rikku appeared before him.

"Here," she said, shoving the beer into his hands. "That should help."

"Thanks," Tidus sighed. He opened the bottle and drank it slowly.

"Feel any better?" Rikku asked.

"A little thanks." Tidus said. He took another sip and stood up slowly. His head still felt fuzzy, but he could at least stand without falling over. His thoughts were a hell of a lot clearer though. "So, tell me. Will I be able to contact Yuna again?"

"I don't know. She cut off awfully quit, I fear that maybe Lulu found the device," Rikku said mournfully.

"Fuck!" Tidus growled and punched the wall. The pain that hummed in his head and entirely vanished, but instead, was replaced with a throbbing in his wrist. Tidus held his wrist, ignoring the pain. "She was just about to tell me something to," he recalled.

"Yeah…" Rikku sighed. She looked away and played with her hands. Should she tell him? She would much rather have her cousin tell him the news and shed light to the mystery that surrounded Wakka's attack, but there was no telling they would be able to contact her again.

"You know something, don't you!" Tidus hissed. He grabbed Rikku's shoulders and pinned her to the wall.

"Tidus, I don't know if I am the one that should tell you!" Rikku shrieked. His grip on her wasn't entirely tight, but it was enough to get his point across. His breath was strong against her face and his eyes began to water as tears began to fall. He fell against her shoulders, his body shaking uncontrollably.

"What is going on with me?" Tidus sobbed. Rikku pulled him closer to her and softly petted his soft hair, trying to console him in any way that she could, although she knew he really wanted Yuna's warmth right now. A slight pain of jealousy stabbed through her at the thought. She had to admit, she always had a slight crush on him.

"If we don't hear anything from Yuna by tomorrow night, I will tell you everything, okay? I think Yuna is the one that should tell you, that is why I am so hesistant," Rikku whispered to him.

"Tomorrow night?" Tidus asked. He pulled himself off of her and wiped the still falling tears with the back of his hand. Rikku stared at his face, despite being back for not even twenty-four hours, he looked like a mess. His usual vibrant blue eyes had turned to light shade of grey, only accented by the puffiness from his tears. He also looked tired, very tired.

"I promise," Rikku nodded.

Tidus pulled her into another tight hug, "Thank you."

**Yuna **opened her eyes to find herself in her tent. She sat up slowly and found Kimahri leaned up against the tent, fast asleep. He must have carried her pathetic body back sometime that night. Yuna sighed and flopped back into bed, studying the intricate patterns of the canvas above her. A huge emptiness floated inside her and she felt cold. Her body longed for the warmth of him more than anything in the world. She rolled on her side and curled up into a ball, the tears starting to fall once more. She cursed at herself for showing such signs of weakness, but knew she couldn't help it. She was torn away from the man that she loved and the father of the child that was now growing inside her.

She started to stroke her belly, thinking of the time she and Tidus shared together. She knew it was sinful, but there would never be a day that she regretted her decision. After all, she had no idea that she would be lying here today, carrying the child they created. Yuna clenched and felt the waves of nausea roll in. Her stomach retched violently, but there was nothing in her stomach to bring up.

Kimahri woke up from the sounds of her retching and sat next to her, slowly stroking her hair to try and soothe her. The retching stopped and she looked up at her beastly guardian, "Why can't everybody else be as loyal as you?"

"Kimahri know Yuna love Tidus and know that Yuna's baby is not a child of sin, but a child of love," Kimahri whispered. His blue lips rose into his rare, but delightful smile. Yuna couldn't do anything but smile back, despite the anger and sorrow she felt on the inside.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," Yuna whispered. She curled up closer to him, enjoying the warmth that he gave her and drifted back into sleep.

**When **Yunawoke up again, she found herself alone in the tent. The cold, dreary feeling of loneliness fell upon her again, causing her to shiver. However, she shrugged it off and quickly freshened up and took a step outside into the warm sunshine. The small village was bustling with activity, somewhat quelling the loneliness she felt inside, but not completely. She would never feel complete until he was standing by her again. She looked over at Wakka's tent and was somewhat delighted to see Wakka sitting outside it. He was badly beaten, but at least he was out of bed.

Yuna walked over, "Hello Wakka, how are you doing?" Wakka just grunted, not even looking at Yuna. Yuna just rolled her eyes and entered the tent. So he was going to be mad at her now too, just great.

Lulu was inside the tent cleaning up the breakfast she had made. Kimahri was sitting at the table, finishing up his portion. "About time you got up," Lulu grunted when she saw Yuna had entered. Yuna ignored the comment and took a seat at the table.

"Did Yuna sleep well?" Kimahri asked.

"Yes, thank you," Yuna said softly. She looked down at her stomach and started humming and rubbing it lightly.

"Don't you be touching that, that thing!" Lulu screamed suddenly. Yuna flinched at the sudden burst of anger, but regained her composure.

"Don't call my child a thing," Yuna growled.

"I can do as I damn well please. First it was created out of wedlock, but then it turned out to be the child of a maniac!" Lulu hissed.

Yuna sat up suddenly, knocking the chair to the ground, "I love him and there is nothing you can do about it! How would you feel if you were about to die without feeling the beauty and wonderful act of love?!" Yuna screamed. "And what about you and Chappu! You can't tell me that you two didn't do it!"

"Don't talk like that about me and Chappu!" Lulu threatened.

"Or else what?" Yuna noticed the commsphere sitting on the bureau next to bed. She went to grab it and Lulu tried to stop her, but Kimahri stepped up and blocked Lulu.

"Kimahri, you can't tell me you support this!" She said, in bewilderment.

"Yuna loves Tidus," Kimahri stated simply.

"And it doesn't bother you that he is a maniac?" Lulu growled.

"Wakka attacked him, Tidus was protecting himself," Kimahri said in defense. Lulu snarled at defeat and Yuna quickly ran out of the tent, the commsphere tucked gently under her strong arms. Kimahri followed her shortly after.

"**Tidus?!" **a voice suddenly called, waking Tidus from his uneasy dreams. "Tidus?!" the voice called again. He looked up and saw that the commsphere sitting on the desk in front of him had come to life. He jumped up and his heart skipped when he saw the beautiful face of his Yuna sitting in front of him. "Did I wake you?" Yuna asked sweetly.

Tidus rubbed the back of his head, trying to smooth his messy hair, "Yes, but that's okay. I am just glad to talk to you again. What happened last night?" Tidus asked.

"Lulu found me somehow and took the commsphere away, but I was able to get it back," Yuna explained, a triumphant smile plastered on her face.

Tidus smiled back, "You go girl!"

"I have decided to leave this place, so do you think it would at all be possible to come and pick me up?" Yuna asked.

"Of course! But will you be able to?" Tidus asked.

"I don't care, I can't stay away anymore. I NEED you!" Yuna cried. Her beautiful smile and radiance suddenly disappeared and Tidus saw how she was truly feeling. She looked tired and miserable. Her skin turned to a pale grey and her beautiful eyes were completely glossed over with sadness. She was broken. It was as if every piece of her had shattered like shards of glass. He wanted to be there in that moment to put the pieces back together.

"I will let everybody know and get there as soon and get everybody there quickly." Tidus told her.

Yuna wiped her eyes and her sweet smile returned once more, "Thank you."

"I love you," Tidus smiled.

"I love you too."

**A/N: **Well there you have it, Chapter 7. I hope you liked it. I know it was kind of slow, but it'll pick up next chapter, I promise! Please review and let me know what you think!!!


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